Men: Part 4 of 4
If you're going to wear normal clothes on the ice, this is the way to do it. We would like to print out a picture of this costume and distribute it to all the male skaters who are thinking to themselves, "I know what would really stand out on the ice! The clothes I wear every day, but ugly!" Look at that kicky little purple vest. We both love it, even though Bee hates vests and Elle hates skating suits. What makes this work is that Abbott didn't try to add gratuitous sparkles or eye-searing colors. He just found a style and a color palette that worked really well for him, and wore the clothes. This costume wins our Best Use of a Vest Award for 2009-2010.
[Top: NHK, second: Skate Canada, third: Grand Prix Final, fourth and fifth: U.S. Championships]
Free Skate: Symphony No. 3 by Camille Saint-SaensUnfortunately, this is where Abbott ran into some problems. He changed this costume several times and never got it quite right. Elle thinks the all-black look he debuted at NHK makes him look like he's trying too hard to be Johnny Cash. Bee thinks the costume he wore to Skate Canada is something her grandmother would wear to a wedding. The ice-blue satin catastrophe he wore to the Grand Prix Final looks like he stole fabric from the bridesmaids while he was there. The look he finally settled on for Nationals, the Olympics, and Worlds may have been the best of the bunch, but we still don't like it. The shiny blue satin looks awful, which is a shame because it's a great shade for someone with Abbott's coloring. And here he bowed to peer pressure and added rhinestones, which definitely didn't help. Elle in particular was very disappointed by this costume, because Abbott's free skate performance at Nationals is one of the skating videos she's watched so many times she could replay it with her eyes closed. We just wish he'd done it in a different shirt.
Daisuke Takahashi. Current World Ranking: #13
This is our favorite variation on the tradiitonal sparkly onesie from this entire season. It's absolutely gorgeous. The whole thing just looks elegant and well-made. We love the flower detailing and the cuffs. Unfortunately, it doesn't look quite as good from a distance (like, say, being filmed for a televised skating competition) as it does up close. But we love it so much up close we don't care.
When attempting to review this costume, Bee found herself writing sentences she had never expected to write. Sentences like "Your red brocade vest doesn't match your checkerboard tablecloth shirt." She doesn't like the vest, but doesn't think the costume would be much better without it, since the checkerboard fabric is overwhelming enough as it is. Elle doesn't like the costume much either, but doesn't mind it on Daisuke Takahashi, who is way too cool for her to feel comfortable criticizing.
Patrick Chan. Current World Ranking: #7
Elle liked this costume much more when we returned to it after reviewing so many others. It shouldn't be that hard to make something black, sparkly and fitted that looks nice, but apparently, from what everyone else wore this season, it's nearly impossible. This fits all of those elements. Bee couldn't identify why she didn't like it, until she realized the shiny part of the top is a vest. Regardless, the structured top creates nice lines for Chan and without the vest the baggy shirt would look frumpy. The buttons are pretty ridiculous and Elle thinks it looks a little like he wrapped himself in black duct tape, but we are hesitantly giving this costume a thumbs up anyway.
Sometimes costumes work and sometimes they don't. Can you guess what this one is doing? It's working so little, it might as well be us when the weather is nice. Sometimes skaters make missteps in their costume choices and this is Chan's for the year. The best part of this costume is that Chan looks somewhat like a ninja turtle. (Unfortunately, that's also the worst part.)
Tomas Verner. Current World Ranking: #3
Elle was excited to write about this costume, for two reasons. First, because this is a perfect example of someone making a special figure skating version of an article of clothing that ends up looking even more ridiculous than just wearing said clothing. Those jeans are brighter and tighter around the bum than any jeans found outside the skating world. Secondly, Elle likes looking at this costume because, seriously, those jeans are ridiculously tight around the bum. Bee thinks this costume successfully walks the line between fun and tacky, and she's glad that Verner is taking advantage of the brief period during which he is young enough to get away with this.
If Abbott's short program costume was like a primer on how to wear menswear correctly on the ice, this is like a primer on exactly what not to do. Everything about this is so horrible it's hard for us to even look at a picture of it to write a review. How many people had to okay this before Verner brought it to the Olympics? First of all, not only is he wearing pinstripes, he is wearing pinstripes of two different sizes that go in different directions. They don't even match in sparkle factor. And then he could choose any two colors in the world for his shirt and tie, and he chose yellow and purple? Any piece of this costume would be awful on its own, and altogether it's a mess of legendary proportions. And when he wore this at the European Championships, he topped it off with gloves. Although we're often dissatisfied, we really do love figure skating costumes, and this disaster hurts us deep in our hearts.
Evan Lysacek. Current World Ranking: #1
[Top: Grand Prix Final, middle: U.S. Championships, bottom two: Olympics]
Short Program: Firebird by Igor Stravinski
We're not really sure if Evan Lysacek knows all of his costumes look alike this season. Despite changing them all like fifty-seven times, they all ended up being black turtlenecks. We aren't sure why Vera Wang was torturing us like this. Evan overloads on black, but at least he didn't attempt red and orange like every other skater who uses this music. To be fair, his reliance on black costumes is going to make it really easy for the producers of Johnny Weir's inevitable biopic to portray him as the villain.
[Top: Skate America, middle: U.S. Championships, bottom: Olympics]
Free Skate: Sheherazade by Nikolai Rimski-Korsakov After starting out the season with a costume that showed his nipples through a mesh chest panel, you would think we'd approve of any costuming changes that Evan Lysacek decided to make. Unfortunately, then came his free skate costume from Nationals. We don't even know where to start with that one. He had actual CAGES on his shoulders. It had ruching on the front reminiscent of a body-shaping bathing suit. (And that's the last thing Evan needs.) And then of course, there's the Olympics costume. This costume has been talked about so much that we're not sure what we can add. Elle thinks the widespread criticism of this costume is more about Lysacek wearing it than the costume itself. First of all, putting someone so long and lanky in all black is a bad choice. And of course, nothing says manly heterosexuality like silver sparkly snakes. Bee loves everything about this costume except the turtleneck.
Evgeni Plushenko. Current World Ranking: #25
Plushenko wasn't ranked in the top 20 by the ISU when we made this list, because he had taken so many years off. However, he's Plushenko. We couldn't leave him out. Bee thinks this is the perfect opportunity to start a dialogue on what makes skaters choose whether or not to use illusion mesh in their costumes. In this costume? She's not sure it's necessary at all. Elle thought this was boring at first, but evaluating these costumes one by one has opened her eyes to the fact that putting together a costume that is both visually interesting and not hideous is a Herculean task for most skaters. So now she appreciates the simplicity.
Plushenko makes it difficult for us to run a fashion blog. This costume is so ridiculous that there isn't really a way to evaluate its aesthetic merit. A red vest and fake tie made completely out of rhinestones? What can we even say about that? We keep trying to say things about this costume, but have found we just don't have the words. Although we can say this: ever since we first saw Plushenko's Sex Bomb exhibition program, we have lost all ability to criticize his costumes. We are just relieved to see him wearing pants.
[Photo Credits: Abbott FS1, FS3&FS4, Takahashi SP1&FS, Chan SP, Lysacek SP1, FS1, FS2&FS3, Plushenko FS1: Getty. Abbott SP2, FS2&FS5, Takahashi SP2, Verner SP2, Lysacek SP2, SP3&SP4, Plushenko FS2: AP. Abbott SP1, Chan FS, Verner SP1, FS&FS2, Plushenko SP: Reuters.]
I just don't understand why Vera Wang had to go make Evan's already twelve foot long arms look longer by putting some eye-catching feathers at the end of them. In that first photo he looks like some king of evil Big Bird trying to hug some terrified small children.
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