2009-2010 Season in Review: Part 2 of 16
Men: Part 2 of 4
Yannick Ponsero. Current World Ranking: #10
Several skaters went for some kind of purple/red combination this season, which is truly unfortunate. Between the Lycra top, the gelled hair and the ribbed (for no one's pleasure) vest-onesie, we can't get behind this, although Bee does love the red scarf. Also, there appears to be some sort of wardrobe malfunction going on, since the illusion mesh over his classy plunge neckline doesn't start until considerably below where his chest hair starts.
Bee tends to think wearing costumes that look like clothes is less distracting than an overdesigned sparkly onesie, but in this case neither of us could take our eyes off that tie. Why is it so short? Why is it orange? How do you skate in a tie, anyway? It looks like a joke.
Alban Preaubert. Current World Ranking: #8
Short Program: Orange Mecanique - Maxime Rodriguez
Sometimes you see so many hideous costumes right after each other that you become desensitized to ugliness. Poor Bee had that problem with Preaubert. She sent Elle a message describing this costume as "ridiculously charming," but has finally come to her senses about this outfit. There are so many things that we just don't understand about this costume. For instance, why is the entire back solid orange? Why is he wearing black boot covers with brown socks and a brown shirt? (I don't know what they do in France, but in America, we do NOT wear brown and black together.) Why is he wearing what appear to be bicycling gloves? Elle thinks that Preaubert has fallen victim to one of the many logical fallacies of figure skating costuming. Turning regular clothes ridiculous colors and sticking rhinestones on them does not make them into figure skating costumes. Despite all the things we may disagree on in the blog, we can agree on one thing completely and wholeheartedly: if you need a belt to hold up your costume, you are doing figure skating wrong.
In this costume, Preaubert looks like that guy at the alternative clothing store who is thirty years too old to be dressing that way. For some reason, whenever men wear fitted babydoll tee shirts, they end up just looking old. And when you dress up as Mick Jagger, the idea is not to look as old as him. This costume is all sorts of trying too hard. We both hate it.
Takahiko Kozuka. Current World Ranking: #11.
Short Program: Bold As Love by Jimi Hendrix
We understand that Kozuka was going for a sixties thing here, with the Hendrix music, but there is a reason this went out of style. Bee stared at this for a good five minutes trying to make out pictures in the shirt, and she's pretty sure she saw Che Guevara's face in there. We hate the shirt and Bee hates the jeans and belt, although Elle likes them. Also, this is another red/lavender combo. Who thought those colors looked good together and why are they dressing figure skaters?
This is so boring we have nothing to say. You're adorable, Kozuka, but call us when you're wearing an actual costume.
Samuel Contesti. Current World Ranking: #9
Elle has very strong feelings about this costume, so Bee was a little scared to say anything about it, although she does think it's been overcriticized. Elle fell head over heels in love as soon as she saw Samuel Contesti first walk out on the ice in overalls. Figure skating overalls, with artfully applied dirt smears. And a plaid shirt. And a plaid patch on the back tastefully highlighting his butt. Elle thinks Contesti has one of the best butts in men's figure skating, which is certainly saying something, so she's pretty sure he was trying to win on that alone. There is a way to portray a character in a routine, a way to subtly set a mood using a combination of music, choreography and costume, and this is not it. This is a guy who went to the Olympics and skated to country music in overalls. All with a big, crazy grin on his face. And won Elle's heart forever. Bee thinks changing the shirt for Worlds was a good idea, Elle thinks the white shirt just made it look like he was wearing his overalls over pajamas, which only endeared him to her more.
After the magic of his short program costume, Contesti brought it in the long with a weirdly-proportioned jacket and an indigenous motif that Bee thinks looks a little too kindergarten and Elle thinks looks like his costumer shot him with silly string. Contesti continues his campaign to turn figure skating into a Halloween party. For Elle, this is like watching a great movie, and then going to see the sequel with low expectations and having it turn out to be exactly as great as the original.
Adam Rippon. Current World Ranking: #14
If any skater other than Adam Rippon wore this, we would slap them. But because it's Adam, we can't criticize him without feeling like we're kicking a puppy. We're going to try anyway and then apologize immediately after. This shirt is too baggy. Someone as young and thin as Adam should never been in a costume this loosely tailored. We are uncomfortable with the washed up seaweed look that's going on here. Bee thinks that the olive green color suits Adam's skin tone well, but is entirely too boring for someone as young and talented as him. (We're sorry, Adam.) We want this costume to be as amazing as this short program is so that we can feel less guilty about watching Youtube videos of it at Worlds over and over again.
Elle thinks this is an improvement over Adam's short program costume, Bee disagrees. Either way, we aren't totally in love with it. We think that Adam should have stuck with the all black look he donned at NHK (top). Why did he change this costume? If you're going to wear all black, the NHK costume is the way to do it. This costume is just not flattering on him. Bee really hated it, but she hit her head earlier today and completely changed her mind. She now thinks it's sort of charming and retro-looking, but is is impossible to tell whether she actually thinks that or she's just starstruck by how adorable Adam is.
[Photo Credits: Ponsero SP, Preaubert SP, Kozuka SP1, Contesti SP1: AP. Kozuka SP2, Contesti SP2&FS, Rippon SP&FS1: Getty. Preaubert SP&FS1, Kozuka FS, Rippon FS2&FS3: Reuters.]
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